Greetings from nutsville

Let's see. Life lately has been, hmmm...insane, surreal, and generally scary, scary, scary. However, at the same time I feel like our family has been really blessed. Mom has been doing great. It's very weird though because if you had told me like 2 years ago that all this was going to happen, I would've totally freaked. Now that we're in it, it's surprisingly ok. Aside from mom talking about the ghostbusters coming to get her in the hospital and wondering if dad had moved back in with his parents her stay there was short and effective. She feels great and we are looking forward to having the old Jack back.

As for the crazy part - that all has to do with Clo. I told Jess the other day I'm waiting for someone to jump out and say "you're on Candid Camera! Surprise! She's really not that difficult, we put her up to it! She was getting paid to act completely insulent and insane! Congratulations - now you're rich with an obedient daughter!" Then we'd go home and laugh and laugh and laugh.- Just ask Jess and Lyd. They took her to the store the other day and by the time they got back they never wanted to see her again. I lost her at Dillards 2 weeks ago and was completely hysterical by the time I found her. Lost her again last week. This time she escaped out of the house while I was on the phone with the phone company. Again, completely hysterical, screaming her name running up and down the road in my socks. Luckily she was just next door. I'm sure I impressed the heck out of my neighbors. Mom came with us to Walmart today where Clo proceeded to embarass me to death. She takes off running, full speed and never looks back. By the time I get to her, minutes later, I'm so furious I take her beloved Cinderella slippers, place them on the floor and tote her away. She went ballistic. People were staring like it was their job. I've decided that the people who stare are the ones who never had chilren. Anyway, I eventually went back, retreived the shoes and went to check out. There she hit the cancel button on the debit machine not once, not twice but FOUR times. I finally shove her and the cart over, sending her into hysterics. On the way out as she's screaming like I was stealing her, I hear some guy say - oh it's so hard! I shoot him a look that must've rivled my mom's because then he's all -Uh, is she okay? I just rolled my eyes and put everyone in the car.Then mom came out and as I was loading her stuff I drop a bag. The bag of eggs. Breaking all 18. It's kind of like Ground Hog's Day for me with her. I'm starting to consider the effectiveness of beating her into submission. Seriously. I know some of you guys spank and some don't. Tell me who you are so I can feel justified in beating her until I feel better. Anyway for real, if any of you have any book suggestions on disciplining children, I'm all ears. It's obvious my "Power of positive parenting" book is not working on her. I want a book entitled "Spanking and you" or "Demons out - What to do when your toddler is posessed." Anyway, I'm typing one handed so excuse the errors. Hope you guys are doing well. Leash