Mike's cousin's blog

Okay, I know I haven't posted. I'm not even going to right now. I have four more days with Mike and I there is enough that keeps us busy as it is. However, I did want you all to read the blog from his cousin Paige. It is the funniest thing I have read ever. Love you all. I'll blog soon.
Love , Brooke

I have enjoyed all the blogs in the past few weeks and apologize for my lack of participation. The first 3 months of the year are my "life is a long dark tunnel" months and so have few small blasts of interest in human interaction outside of my immediate obligations. (Upon reading this years down the road I am sure my children will be re-evaluating their own social inadequacies as I refer to them as obligations) I bottomed out this morning after having gotten two of them showered, dried and dressed to find several homework papers not done, a winter coat had apparently vaporized over night somewhere in the house, all the teachers valentines sealed tightly shut with no names on them(I have no idea how that ended at school)and then I remembered that all 4 of them had dentist appointments um....right then. So out the door, drop off Caroline who can't miss her party at school and a 4 minute ride to one of the people who takes my pampering money away from me. Enough time for a 3 minute 45 second silent cry down Woodward in which I tell myself that every other mother in the world has ALL her kids clean, all appropriately dressed for the weather, homework crisp and finished in the laminated folders that I lost 4 months ago, valentines printed in pink italics with a full size candy bar attached, and no one has cavities so she is off to get her weekly detox massage to get rid of any negative energy she may be holding in her 123 pounds of perfection. I pull into the parking lot, shake it off, tell 2 of them to jump as we are late, and instruct them to speak clearly when they apologize for being late. They respond in unison with "We know." As in, we do it all the time. I follow them in and look for a table to crawl under as I know I have just thrown them off schedule for the whole day. I also scan the magazine rack and grab the recent People and begin to deteriorate my already questionable intelligence. Same faces, same faces, same faces.....oh, I recognize a face in an article about one of the girls from that sitcom Full House. The middle one. Yeah, whatever happened to her? Apparently, she was humming along life, graduated from college, married a California cop and then became a crystal meth addict. Unexpected, I know. I have often wondered at what point someone decides that something like crystal meth would be a great idea so I continue reading, perhaps she will shed some light on it. She describes the feeling as immediately wonderful. And not only that, you have tons of energy, lose weight AND crave doing things like organizing your drawers and closets. So I am thinking about this. Then she goes on to say that at the low point she was just locked in the bathroom alone for hours. I am no longer reading the article. I am starting to inventory the amount of cold medicine that I have on hand at home and which bathroom I will live in. And I am thinking about other articles where it sites many homes being burnt to the ground due to meth labs. My house needs a lot of work. What IS the down side? I mean, I am currently paying the man in this very office to systematically pull my teeth at a premium and as a meth-head they would fall out on their own. Cash for more Sudafed. I am in deep. "Paige, are you doing okay today?" The receptionist pulls me out of my dark fantasy. I lie. "Great. Just fine." If only she knew where I had just been.
Well, that 30 minutes in the dentist's waiting room got me through the rest of the day and I even made a few cameo's at the kids parties - no small feat for me. Gotta love that People magazine.