Tender Mercies

I chickened out of bearing my testimony in relief society on sunday even though i know i should have. so as penance, i will write a blog. while listening to the lesson and testimonies in relief society i just had such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and love for my Heavenly Father. Moving to Utah was not an easy decision for me. i realize that is silly seeing how i have lots of great friends here and Jason's family is here and of course my wonderful extended family. Still, i'm a washington girl through and through. i love the northwest and being near my family like. . . like uncle Kev loves west kaysville and being near his family. When i was pregnant i could not get out of utah fast enough and escape to blessed battle ground and it's parks and rivers and lakes and of course my mama and Meagan. I was so sick and being sick for that long does things to you. This is a picture or a typical day for me when i was pregnant in Utah. Fleeing somewhere in that kind of desperation makes it hard to think of coming back in a positive light. For 5 months after Finn was born, Jason and i were constantly debating back and forth about moving back to utah for a better job and so he could be in school. for 5 months we could be moving at any time. i mostly didn't worry about it and thought it would never happen. then one day it was decided. Ask Meags and Cory, i was nearly catatonic for 2 days. but we didn't move right away, we still went through several weeks of job hunting in utah and figuring out the best course of action. Jason applied for a couple of jobs here in Utah in mid june. He had to come back for a second interview on the 8th of July. On the 16th he got the job and on the 21st he started work. we had 3 days to move. during that period of time is when the tender mercy of the Lord was poured out on me. As hard as it was to leave everything in washington, especially when little Violet was days away from making her debut, i not only felt okay with moving, but was semi excited! i knew that i could choose to be happy about moving to utah, or i could be miserable. Despite my natural inclination, i prayed that Heavenly Father would help me choose the former. He truly has. the feelings of anxiety, frustration and depression have not once overshadowed me, nor will they. in that moment in class, my testimony of our Heavenly Father's love for, and sincere interest in me was once again reinforced. i know it will still be harder for me to run and train for my half marathon here with the heat and altitude and without mom and meags to run with me. i will still hate the snow and the dryness, but i will choose to focus on the good and be grateful to have a healthy baby boy, a husband who loves me, an amazing family and so many other things. There is no road to happiness, happiness is the road. (or something like that)
So there it is, and there you have it. Sorry, next time i'll just get up and bear my testimony.