one of my mission bud-e's sent this to me from good old Iraq
SEVENTY-FIVE REASONS WHY YOU’VE BEEN IN IRAQ TO LONG
1. You call the barracks home.
2. The girl that was a 2 is now a 5
3. You use words like “roger, negative, and say again” in normal conversation.
4. Your go home for vacation.
5. Card board boxes are your desk.
6. You’re over 20 years old and sleeping in a bunk bed.
7. You by a DVD with 5 movies on it, for 5 dollars, and you fill like you got ripped off.
8. You don’t pause your game when mortars hit the area.
9. You lose weight cause, “I just can’t eat that again.”
10. You never know what day it is.
11. Getting a good meal involves a quarter mile hike.
12. You get called a hippy because your hair is 1” inch long.
13. You’re happy when it is, only, 110 degrees.
14. Your toiletry bag includes shoes, and a flashlight.
15. Seeing a tank roll past is no longer cool.
16. All your clothes look the same.
17. You don’t fix the hole in the crotch of your pants cause “its good ventilation.”
18. You walk into a store or church with a rifle and nobody cares.
19. Your family knows what’s going on before you do.
20. 80 degrees is cold.
21. A man in a dress doesn’t seem weird.
22. Good sleep is 5hrs.
23. Some one gets shot, and you’re mad cause “now the phones will be down.”
24. You’ve read more books in Three months than you did your whole life before.
25. You’re so bored that you start hopping that someone will shoot ay you today.
26. You can’t pronounce your interpreters name so you call him “Bob”.
27. You wish the guy that you’re searching only had B.O.
28. Everything that you own fits in a three feet by three feet area.
29. You hear a boom and you know whether it was a rocket or a mortar.
30. After almost being hit by a mortar, you and your buddy start laughing.
31. Half the people you meet are named Muhammad or Ali.
32. You catch three of your buddies watching “The Note Book”, and with out making fun of them, you sit down and join them.
33. You forget that the wall separating your bunk from 23 other is a sheet.
34. You’re so bored that you don’t stop your buddy from telling a story that you have heard 10 times this week.
35. The snoring around you is “soothing.”
36. Listening to the radio is less important than watching the fly strip.
37. The mouse in your area is now a pet.
38. You buy Gold Bond Powder in bulk.
39. You can tell the difference between American and Iraqi Pepsi.
40. You hear a familiar rap song but you don’t understand the words.
41. You don’t have to ask your wife to repeat herself on the phone when you only heard every other word.
42. You make bets on when and where the next rocket or mortar will hit.
43. You feel naked without your gun.
44. Your favorite food is Cup‘O noodle.
45. You haven’t seen a cloud in months.
46. Your buddies help shave each others backs.
47. You dream in night vision.
48. The last time you were home you didn’t have kids.
49. You miss the snow drifts when you drive by the trash ones.
50. If you have ever said, “it’s not that bad here.”
51. Farting is a contest.
52. You forgot what over 55 mph feels like.
53. You don’t notice 40lbs of body armor any more.
54. You know what a Hesco is. (Basket dirt-barriers)
55. You wear you clothes for 4 days to save on wash time.
56. You know your friends by smell.
57. The sight of a Man’s naked butt is no longer alarming.
58. If you have ever yelled, “who took the last can of Beanie Weenies.”
59. You don’t need and interpreter to understand your interpreter.
60. You will put your life on the line to get a good picture.
61. You buy an air soft pistol because the army won’t give you a real one.
62. You have huge speakers that you never use.
63. Your wife asks what time it is there and you answer “2100”.
64. You really would kill for Burger King.
65. You set up booby traps for foxes in your area.
66. When it feels good to patrol just to get off the F.O.B.
67. You feel a plate that holds food is a hook up.
68. You spend large sums of money to watch T.V. on DVDs.
69. The closest thing you recall to a forest is camo-netting.
70. If you heard someone say, “the grated, (all) dirt, baseball field looks real nice.”
71. You’re no longer nervous about brushing your teeth in non-potable water.
72. You see a Sgt. First Class working.
73. On your birthday you wife thinks you’re a year younger, then you are, because this is the second one she has missed.
74. You consider an online game with you wife “date night.”
75. Showing affection with your wife involves a “nudge” from Windows Messenger.
